These last two weeks, if you’ve read my previous posts, have been a lot. When things get to be overwhelming for me, I tend to attempt to take my mind off it by shopping – retail therapy, if you will. Sometimes I catch myself buying new pieces of clothing (usually sweats or pojamas, as a literal manifestation of comfort seeking); sometimes it’s craft stuff; sometimes it’s journals or self-care products. But most frequently, it’s books.
Cue yesterday.
The stress of the loss of my dad seemed to be finally settling down a little, and I found myself seeking comfort (which, as I said, I tend to do when I get really overwhelmed). I took a ride to the library down the street from my house and let myself wander. After about 45 minutes, I approached the checkout desk with a selection that surprised me: three books about the Titanic, two about the Salem Witch Trials, a kids’ guidebook to Washington D.C. for my older son, and a children’s graphic novel I’d gotten to read an advance copy of before its publication. I was also able to finally check out a novel I’d had on hold forever.
I went home and decided it was a good day to weed my bookshelves, too. As I worked, I started feeling a bit more relaxed and a little less like I could jump out of my skin at any moment. I ended up pulling somewhere around 50 books; some were kids’ books that I’ll take to school and add to our library’s collection for my students, and the rest went into bankers’ boxes while I figure out what to do with them. Maybe my colleagues might like some? Maybe the high school librarians could take some for their school collection? Maybe the public library will take them as donations?
My husband came down from our home office as I was finishing up and asked a series of questions that, the moment after it had escaped his lips, he realized was a huge mistake:
“Did you notice any gaps? Any books on your shelves that have since had a sequel or something? Anything new by anyone?”
Why, yes, actually. There were some gaps. Oh darn, I guess I’ll have to hit up Amazon and Barnes and Noble….
$150 and ten books later, I think those gaps are filled.
Now, I can curl up and get lost in someone else’s world for a while, and take a little time off from thinking of everything going on in my own. Reading has always been my refuge, and the books are calling…
One Miraculous Mama 
I always see it as a strength when people can recognize their needs, name them and then address them as best possible. Sorry for your loss. The way you describe reading and books generally as refuge suggests that you know yourself well enough to find the comfort you’re seeking. May the new books fill whatever gaps you found and bring you joy.
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This is me! Books for comfort. Books for fun. Books to organize. Books for someday. I’m sorry for your recent loss and know that life is challenging, but I’m glad you’re here and I’m glad I could enjoy your writing today.
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Nothing better than weeding and filling the spaces with new books. You do a good job of helping the reader sense your ease and comfort slowly start to come through this post. I hope you have found some great books!
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The comfort that you take in the books and the stories they contain comes through loud and clear in this Slice. I could feel your ease settle around you as you took us through your day.
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I am sorry for your losses and stressors that have challenged your productivity and peace. Yet, I notice a potential for how retail book therapy may improve your mood, your existence and your life! I hope the books are good ones!
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