#SOL22 Day 24: Bad Mom

I don’t want to go into detail, but I feel like a terrible mother tonight. My 9-month-old got hurt in a way that was stupid and dangerous and completely avoidable, had I been paying better attention. I think he’s okay. He cried for a little while afterward, and once he was done crying he whined until I gave him a bath and put him to bed. I gave him Tylenol to alleviate any pain he might have been feeling.

He drank his whole 9-ounce bottle and didn’t throw up, which I took as a good sign.

There were no tangible bumps anywhere, which I took as a good sign.

His pupils weren’t dilated, and he clapped along with a bit of Encanto as he normally does, which I took as good signs.

But I feel like a bad mom. I’m punishing myself for my mistake by waking up every hour, on the hour, to go in his room and check on him. To put my hand on his back and make sure he’s still breathing. To be the good mom I’m supposed to be and do everything I can to protect my kids and keep them safe.

I’m going to be a hot mess at work tomorrow, but I earned it.

To make matters worse, my husband isn’t home; he’s at a meeting for work and doesn’t expect to be home for several hours. Even worse than that, he’s traveling for work next week, which means I’ll be on my own with both of my boys for three nights.

I’m just praying I can keep all three of us alive.

Tonight, I’m such a bad mom.

2 thoughts on “#SOL22 Day 24: Bad Mom

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself! The line where you said you checked if he’s breathing resonated so strongly! I guess all we moms have done that at some point in our mom careers.

    Liked by 1 person

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